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The Wandering Mind->>* All my exits have become entrances *<<- |
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May 31 Solid DirectionWritten: May 31, 2009 -------------------------------------------------- These poetical sketches of my internal origins are just shy of being observations of insanity I think I know just what I'm feeling I'm sure I think what I'm doing is right I'm right to feel the way I do, but it's also true that sometimes I know not what I do I am selfish and scared to change my ways since there is no clear cut path to follow I can be so sure of what's right for you because I've been wrong before We might as well all be strangers if we're not gonna be anything meaningful Blink and you'll miss it Everything's breathing, beating; turn your head and you'll hear the sound There's always something looking for an open dream Shaping thoughts into words solidifies them, makes their existance real to others When the right words seem to run and all the feelings start to flow From your head down to your feet you are the one For me there is no other worth the time or energy It's all a blur again One more season has come and gone and who we've become is worth remembering To experience the innocence of my youth you only have to ask me what I think If my voice doesn't give me away, surely my conviction will I have become the sum of my beliefs that bleed through the cracks in my speech I have birthed many stories and truths before their marriage was even an option Truth blessed truth, tie me down and set me free, so that I may be free to be my own person There is no natural progression to follow, none aside from the ones we've already set in motion Put in all you've got and you will see your words follow through in the right direction May 26 Rest Written: May 24, 2009 Edited: May 26, 2009 Late night writing as usual. ------------------------------------------------------------ Like a dead celebrity, I'm worth more dead than I ever was alive I'm a whisper of the past falling Freedom always comes with a price; yours was paid with the pain I caused There is no currency for change like redemption I may be weak, but that's something that I know you'll never be Though I'm embarrassed to admit it, the only thing you're guilty of is being innocent You put yourself in danger with every test that you put me through Love was never supposed to be a game Apart our hearts part like red seas Standing worlds apart in the same room It’s clear to me that avoiding this feeling is getting us nowhere It was so much easier to breathe with you next to me I don't expect the impossible I don't speak in guarantees and now you know why In my dreams I'm helpless to turn away from your silence Say anything; should I go or should I stay? Whether it's to hold back tears or to keep your bright smile from escaping Anything is reason enough to close these eyes tonight I keep waking up without you even though I don't sleep anymore I've never slept with you but I've felt rested with the best of you in my mind You'd think that I'd know my nature enough to walk away before starting another fire But my nature draws me to cross the line time after time There ain't no happy ending worth reading about if it's not about you and me Selfish I know, but at some point I had to put my dreams to bed What makes me take such drastic steps to distance myself from you? If it was anybody's guess, your touch would be the source of my unrest The city sleeps; I wish I could say the same for me I don't know how much more I can take before I begin to call myself a thief The police aren't the only ones searching for the truth The only difference is that they actually have a clue If anything, my uneasiness is proof that I wasn't right I was wrong to think and now I have no right to feel at all I want to lose consciousness, but even more than that I want to lose my life to you In life a sentence can be a sign of the end, but in most cases it's where things truly begin My single-mindedness has finally passed its expiration May 20 CompassMy head is swimming while my heart is drowning in this intense emotion Sometimes hope can be so destructive Misguided intent leads one in directions with no moral compass You’d think that your sensible heart would know better But you’re no better than you were a year ago See I have no problem trusting you like I do, but ask me to extend that same faith to myself and my belief loses its ground With no intention of asking for a light I continue to blow all my chances at seeing things for what they are Realists never imagine what dreamers dare to see and I’ll never dare to be more than I’ve come to know Living in the past tense only gets you so far It’s easy to love what’s lost because nothing’s distracts quite like the past TracesI'm still learning my way around your mind So excuse me when I look lost in you and the things you say You aren't the problem; it’s my imagination's sense of direction I'll follow close the guidance you've given me If you'll follow the trust I've instilled in you Believe me, I know your ways and I should back away from that fire in your eyes But I need a little warmth; I won't touch, I just need to feel some heat You've got plenty to spare, your touch is proof of this No one admits that deep down we're all like glass Tangible and strong to a point - We're all filled I don't know all that you go through But I know what I can do to understand you a little better Let me get closer before you close your doors It’s alright to not feel alright tonight But for a moment let’s forget about the pressures of living Let's just be ourselves, like before we knew any better Another chance to start up conversation, don't hesitate to say anything around me We don't have to see eye to eye, you don't have to be into the things I like I'm into you; you make everything worth while By the light in your eyes I can tell that you're coming around There's not much I can do to help you, but I can listen to your breathing Beating me to the punch, every utterance is profound Simply put each line is walked upon ever so lightly Your grace leaves traces of joy all over my face Your heartbeat moves the world Don't turn away from the eyes that see you for who you really are Every move is a promise worth keeping Every once in a while I fall into you when I know that I can only love you I can't be the one you want to love, but I can still love you Maybe someday you'll completely get why I look at you the way I do For all the right reasons and maybe one that flirts with being borderline wrong, daily we confess our love for one another Brother, sister, companion or lover alike, they all love, each a little differently Each love builds towards a cause and we have to handle it like a glass We don't choose the ones that mean the most to us, they choose us Before we knew what we were, we were close May 14 Second ThoughtsWe all fall in and out of love Were we so distracted with each others needs that we forgot about what we ourselves wanted? Is it selfish to think that I could do better, when you're already giving me your best? I know that you love me somehow, but something just doesn't leave me needing you that way Is your desperation deserving of my heart's attention? Am I being dishonest with you by staying with you? I don't want to hurt you, but it hurts me to stay when I've had so many opportunities to leave I'm not looking but that doesn't mean that I don't want it I'm not waiting, but I'm still here debating what it'd be like Is it wrong to want what I can't have? I could find another love interested in keeping me company Daily I'm surrounded and approached by suitors, but none truly suit me Take care while I take care of myself I need to rest my head worry-free with someone who'll watch out for me Life has not been easy for me, so take it easy on me You got what you wanted; you've got a part of me We rushed into this thing way too fast and I'm just starting to feel it now That rush to my head I get when I think of you is giving me a headache I don't know why I feel the way I do When you can't be what I need I try to imagine a better day that doesn't go the wrong way At a day's end I want to be sure that we won't meet our end I'm in this thing for you, so why do I have to put up with everyone else in your life? I'm always defending our love and my place in your world This up hill battle is relatively inexhaustible; it always starts anew with each and every person I'm introduced to I just wanted to be yours, not his or hers or theirs; Is that so wrong? I belong to you and you keep lending my patience to their needs I try to see us making it past tomorrow, but that vision isn't always so clear What's the point in working so hard for something we can't enjoy to the fullest? Love shouldn't require so much sacrifice This struggle that I've managed to mask with silent smiles is wearing thin And somehow I know that I'm wrong to feel this way, but I can't help it All of these regrets are nothing new; I could use a new beginning too As indecisive as I've been lately I know that I want to follow through with you Each and every day my affection for you changes It’s strange that I can love you one minute and forget about you the next You've been my strength and I've been your reason and your resolve Some live to love and I'd love to live like them, if only for a moment |
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