I've just reached a milestone by getting 2008 viewers at this space. This is quite exciting.

Now that this 'blog' has received 2008 views, I'd like to ask not for 2008 more views, but instead for 2008 prayers.
Please pray for my Mother who has been in the hospital since last week.
If you don't know how to pray, then you can simply wish for her recovery and health.
My family & I thank you in advance for your concern and consideration during this time.

This is what happens when I drink too much.
Honestly I was drinking wine out of a wine glass while listening to a friend talk
about her feelings for someone and I just had to write about it.

"We all hold each other's fragile hopes in our hands...." - Unknown

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Like glass, clearly I’m transparent
Filled to the brim, my cup runneth over for you
Don’t be afraid to leave your mark on me
Keep your fingers pressed against me
Don’t worry about cracking or breaking me
I’m stronger than I appear to be
Letting go won’t break me

Even though you make me so transparent,
in all honesty I’m what you need
So fill me till you want no more
I am what you make of me
Pour yourself into me and I will empty myself for you
I don’t want to block you from the world, only to protect you
Press against me and you will not fall
Everything you can’t be is everything I will become
I am what you need me to be
When you need me to be

I think this poem singlehandedly embodies my struggles of last year.

"I've become what I can't be..." - Jason Tedder

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A skeptic’s never satisfied
No answer’s ever going be good enough
When you’re closer to where you began
One step backwards in your search for something true

Listen to the silence between the words
Pay attention to the breaths living between the lines
Someone mend these thoughts together
Make sense of my mind in your eyes
Read the pages of my mind – Learn me inside out

I’ve become obsessed with identity
By painting a picture with the colors all wrong
I’ve become what I can’t be, when you simply needed me to be there
Everything I can't be, is everything you could be

No longer will I shield myself from you
No longer will I say, “I stood to close – You saw too much,”
I give in to you; we're not going to live forever
So I can't keep hiding from you or this brave new world
I can’t hold you at arms length and expect to hold on to you in the same motion
When your aloneness is deeper when I’m this close and this distant
If I could have a word weigh in at the tip of my tongue
I’d tell you the way that I felt in a word - lost, with no way of making my presence felt

From a distance pursuit seems unlikely
But with so little in between you and I
Catching up to my train of thought isn't such a pain
Take your time, I’m not going anywhere without you
Not when you’re almost familiar with what I know to be real
In this minute you have become a part of me
Inheriting my restless faith in something true
Inheriting my ceaseless faith in you

It is what it is.

"Nothing remains...but memories..." - Jack London

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Many minutes have been lost to moments that have become broken
Many memories come as fast as they go
Changing with each blinking realization
Perfecting new ways of molding what I believe
Setting in motion questions of my sincerity in remembering you

When I feel like you’re going to erase me from the pages of your life
Just trying to fight brings me to my knees
The waves of nostalgia that hit me every time I see you
in someone else has taken everything out of me

The morning comes faster than I’ve ever known during this exhausting waiting period
Will I find myself alone again in the coming days?
I’m willing to give up this addiction to breathing
If holding out for you fills my lungs like I know it does

With so little time to save face
It’s a shame that I let all this go to waste
You’ve won me over in ways that I won't ever understand until its too late
In the graveyard of my mind I can’t change this feeling that’s become so transparent
Trying to see past this has got me stuck
But this won’t go away, so I better see this for what it is
You’ve become the end of me
When you are the beginning of everything I’ve ever come to know

This was inspired by a film called "Away From Her" directed by Sarah Polley.
Every scene inspired me to write, I had to watch it twice since I kept getting up to write.
I hope that I have done this film some justice.

"It's never too late to become what you might have been..." - Kristy

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I’m here, but not all together
I remember pieces of you
But as a whole I can’t say that I know you
You seem so familiar – That look of joy on your face as you see me
You sit by me and smile for a while
You’ve pieced together a story, our story

Strung together by random passing pictures in my head
The short distances my memories travel in pursuit of you tires me out
I try to remember – Who you are that I’ve loved you so
What we were that makes me want to know you so urgently
Slowly slipping these long absent days have become my only consistent comfort
Always there in the morning, rising into the expected noonday
Exiting, escaping with me in hand
We run, we ran & we moved
We moved – The Heavens, the times, the tears and the lines
Which have blurred all that lies in between – You and me and all of the people we knew
All those people with nothing to gain and nothing to lose
Nothing to lose but what we were

We’ve become what we never should have been – Separated
You are here before me
But you’re not all together with me
Even now, I can see it in your eyes - I can see it
You know of me, but you no longer know how completely incomplete I am without you
Away from you I am not all together
But rather quite far apart at heart

Stunned I stand silently watching as traces of your shadow drift away with you
As you take your leave of a life you’ve already forgotten, but always lived beautifully
I realize that I am helpless, whether I stay or go is not up to me
But decided upon by the threads that survive the wear and tear
of Time’s many edits of our recorded lives
Cutting – Room floors sparkle with their vast unmarked spaces
remaining untouched, unknown and uninviting
And yet all I want to do is to step into your everyday
Walk into the life of your warm smiles embrace

Certainty is not a luxury that we can afford in large quantities
We know nothing, we almost know – We grow aware, but never certain
I’ve been told that it’s never too late to become what I might have been
So I’ll take what little space is available in your mind’s museum
as currency of our hearts story
I won’t let you stand where I stood - Forgotten
Letting go is so hard to do when being free is something that I’ve never wanted to be

I wrote this in December after the Snow Storm.
I just had this story filling my head, but I've never considered myself to be much of a story writer.

"Lady Winter keeps knocking at my window..." - Mr. GQ

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Not a single word has been uttered but still I hear you
With the freezing white snow hanging in place over me
All the strings have been cut releasing thousands of unique flakes
Tiny revelations stretched out before me
Each identical to the eye but oh so diligently different
Effortlessly each flake finds a space on me to occupy
I’ve been walking through the minutes turning into hours and I can feel it

Lady Winter likes to catch me in mid-sentence as I curse
When the world is rushing by while I can only hold on
Sometimes her gentle touch becomes too much
The cold knows me in ways I wish not to be known
Sending shivers under my skin, which I’ve left exposed
Taking my hand and my balance in tow
Crossing the streets has never seemed so long before as I walk on the tightrope of ice
Cautiously I go forward praying that I don’t go under

The cold on my shoulder pulls me back into my present journey
With air so thick and cold I can barely breathe
I don’t know if I should sigh a little louder to let someone know that I’m alive
Gentle to the touch sometimes the breeze is too much
With the crying breeze pushing me forward and cold fingers pressed softly on my face,
my warmth escapes into the chilled air
To take on the elements alone seems far easier than to see no warmth in your eyes
I can feel it – I believe it – I need it
Another joyously warm memory to keep me company

Within the air is the frigid sky blue
Shaking the snow free, as if emptying everything was the only action worth considering
Generously I am blanketed with memories instead of just snowflakes
Flooding my eyes with more emotions than my frozen face could ever muster
Standing still, I am covered from head to toe in your memory
I’ve misplaced mine, yet still you let me borrow yours
That’s all that I can think about as I begin to walk with Lady Winter as my guide

Like steps in the snow
My memories direct me in the art of following after you
Not knowing which way I’m going, I can only step into the trail that’s been put before me
Still, I am covered in tiny revelations
From head to toe your memory blankets me
Silently outnumbering every cold snowflake carried on my shoulder

A a kid I looked up to someone and part of me still does even today despite all of the things that this person continues to do.

"Its easier to love someone than it is to like them..." - Some Guy

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Growing up I looked up to you
You could do no wrong despite all the wrong that you did
Your name was all that I ever heard
Even now anything that I am follows after you
You’re name is uttered before mine, like footsteps
I was yours before I was my own person
But now I’ve got to grow into my own skin

When I was you I didn’t know what to do with myself
When filling in your shoes was more than I was willing to do
I had to stay and find a way to be all that you couldn’t be
You always say, “It’s never too late to become what you might have been,”
So why didn’t you go through?

I looked up to you
Before I ever looked down
On you are the promises of a lifetime never lived
I looked up to you before I ever looked down on you

I've posted 6 new poems on my Deviant Art page, I will post them on here tomorrow morning.